#todays been decent but ive been feeling really like i need a food nap lately

[oimoi-op]

when were you diagnosed with t1d?

Ok, so storytime! Short answer is, as of today, barely over two months ago. 

(Very long post warning y’all, contains hospital mention and extensive, possibly upsetting descriptions of health conditions, specifically DKA)

My family doesn’t really have a history of T1D or even T2D, though my second-cousin-once-removed has had T1D for over a decade now. So, there was never any reason for me to try and get tests done for it. The only sign I really had up until last semester was two copies of a variant of an HLA gene that I knew about from a 23andMe report (which, according to the report, put me at a higher risk for celiac’s and nothing else), but of course at that time I had no idea that that could mean anything serious; after all, that sort of thing only happens to other people, right?

My college started in-person classes in the latter half of August. By October, I started feeling tired, having a lack of appetite, and needing water very, very badly. I actually went to my school’s clinic, and my erratic heartbeat prompted the doctor to recommend me for a Covid-19 test. My school’s protocols meant that I had to quarantine at my home (since I live within two hours of campus) until I got a negative test result. At home, I was drinking water all the time and sleeping constantly, and my parents had commented on how I’d been losing weight. I thought these were all good things. I had been slightly overweight at my high school graduation, and I’d always heard that drinking a lot of water is good for you, so I thought I was actually in excellent health even if I kind of felt like shit most of the time.

Well. Uh. I was wrong.

When finals came around in mid-November, I was just fucking tired. I’d get a decent eight hours of sleep and still have to take naps during the day. Hell, I was even late for work because I slept through one of my nap alarms. Studying was a pain in the ass. Attending classes was a pain in the ass. Staying awake for Zoom classes was a pain in the ass. I was waking up at 5 am to go to the bathroom, and then I would drink the rest of my water, refill it, drink half of it again, and then go back to sleep. Finally, November 20th rolled around, and I got to leave campus. It was my birthday (yeah I am a Scorpio and that weirds all of my friends out lol), and my parents took me to Fusion. And I just...couldn’t eat at all? I love hibachi, but I couldn’t even eat half of my food. The chef even got me a delicious banana split that I had to basically bully my younger sister into eating with me.

For the next week, I was sleeping about 18 hours a day. I didn’t think this was weird because I’d just had finals so yeah, it makes sense that I would be tired after exams and whatnot. I went shopping with my mom, sister, and sister’s bff. We were only out for a few hours, but I was fucking wiped out y’all, like in pain. Thanksgiving arrived, and again, I love food, I love eating, but I was not hungry in the slightest. I basically had to force myself to eat some of my favorite holiday foods just so I wouldn’t offend my mom, and then I didn’t eat for the day.

The very next morning, I was puking my guts out.

This started a pattern for the next few days: I would eat chicken noodle soup or some other food, sleep like the dead, and throw up every morning and every night. I started chugging large bottles of Gatorade constantly (which, if you know about diabetes and its health complications, did not help my situation in the slightest). I started breathing erratically after very little exertion. Like, I’m talking standing up and stretching brought about heavy, labored breathing. I weighed myself on my parents’ scale, and I was under 130 lbs. Now, for some people this might seem like a lot, but due to my height and build I could fucking see some of my ribs. That was when I started to realize that something was very, very wrong, but “losing weight is good” and I didn’t want my parents to laugh at me for voicing concerns (though, for all their faults, in hindsight, I doubt they would’ve). Yeah. Don’t do that, folks, that’s not a good mindset to have. 

On Sunday, my mom took me to town to get tested for Covid. This was despite me saying that I didn’t have symptoms (which I knew very well due to some of my friends catching it at school). Rapid test came back negative, so I did a culture test. Hell, while I was sitting in the damn chair, I was about to pass out. I asked for a nausea pill but my mouth was too dry for it to dissolve. I got a cup of water, downed it all, and felt like my throat was on fire. For the rest of the day I felt so, so awful. At some point I was walking toward my bed in my room and I fucking fell. I’m fucking lucky there was carpet. 

Regarding the rest of that night, things start to get blurry, for the lack of a better term. I legitimately cannot recall everything that happened that night or the following two days, so I will just try to explain it in the way I remember it best.

Around...midnight or one??? I was on fucking fire, so I went to my bathroom and decided to lie on the floor. The floor was hardwood and not at all cold, and it wasn’t fucking comfortable even in that state, but I was just in so much pain I didn’t even care. My mom must’ve heard because she found me there and asked me what I was doing. I said something about the floor. She asked me to go back to bed, but I must’ve scared her because she asked me if I wanted her to lie in the bed with me. I don’t remember what I said to her, but we were in the bed and she was trying to hug me, but she was too warm and so I told her to stop. I kept feeling this burning just below my chest, like there was acid in me (which I guess wasn’t too far off), so I would randomly sit up to try and alleviate the pain and not cry. I remember asking my mom to take me to the hospital in the morning.

My mom put me in the truck (I think around 5 am is what she told me). I remembered hearing my dad. I was lying down. Then I was awake, but I was on the floor. I thought this was wrong so I tried to tell my mom that but I guess I couldn’t talk. Then I was in a hospital bed, the ER I assume. My mom gave me some water with a sponge, and I was just so fucking thirsty. Then I was in the ICU hooked up to a bunch of machines. I didn’t know what was going on, but my mom kept giving me water with that sponge. That is all I remember from Monday.

I remember a little bit more from Tuesday. My mom said something about diabetes, but that didn’t make any sense to me because I wasn’t “fat” and I’d been losing weight, even! What had I done to get diabetes? I was thirsty and tired, so I slept a lot. At some point I really needed to use the restroom so I unhooked my IV???? (I mean I must’ve disconnected myself somehow but I can’t remember the details) which set off a shit ton of alarms and people were Very Concerned and kept asking me Why Did You Do That? But I just needed to go to the restroom, and they told me to use the Red Button to Call the Nurse (it was already there, and I now realize that we’d probably had a similar conversation about the Red Button to Call the Nurse possibly multiple times before this) in the future. A Chopped Teen Tournament from 2017 was playing on the TV nonstop. There were commercials for CGMs. I thought that God wasn’t being very funny about the whole thing.

As of now I remember even less of Wednesday, but I know that felt better. There was this diabetes specialist who kept talking about insulin and life at college moving forward, but I wasn’t really there, either because of being so out of it for health reasons, disassociating, or a combination of the two. My mom told me she had emailed a professor so he would give me an extension on an assignment that was due by then, and I remember crying because I thought that was just so nice of him. That night, this guy got me in a wheelchair and put me in another room, which I would later learn was the ACU. My night nurse was this nice woman named Tanya, who had a very thick Eastern European accent. She got me orange juice to take some potassium pills, but it felt like swallowing rocks. I didn’t really get a lot of sleep, so I was awake when the nurses changed shifts. I remember one of them expressing surprise that I was out of the ICU so early.

My mom took longer to come that day because nobody had told her I’d been moved. I’d had plain Cheerios and orange juice for breakfast, but I couldn’t really eat because my throat hurt so badly. I talked to a lot of doctors. I guess at this point or somewhere near it I accepted that I had diabetes, but it wasn’t really real until the same diabetes specialist was going over carbs. I thought I was never going to eat shit I liked ever again. I really wanted a fucking McChicken sandwich. I signed some papers for Medicaid because I had aged out of the CHIP while in the hospital. I finally texted my friends and explained to them what had happened. I was so fucking tired.

I got out the next day, so that was Thursday. Normally, I would’ve been in the hospital much longer (especially because my Medicaid hadn’t been approved, meaning no insurance had approved of my insulin yet), but Covid cases were on the rise and the hospital wanted me out of there. The diabetes specialist and one of my nurses snuck me two fast-acting and two basal insulin pens, and I was out. I ate half a McChicken, a small fry, and drank my first Diet Coke. It tasted like diesel mixed with piss. 

That’s the gist of it. The hospital staff was very nice and thoughtful the entire time, I think. I felt as though everyone involved cared about my health a lot. 

For those of you who aren’t T1D or just don’t know, what I experienced is called DKA, short for diabetic ketoacidosis. To simplify, I was very close to entering a diabetic coma. My sister later told me that our dad had said (I assume a doctor had told my mother, who, in turn, had told him) that I was “approximately 45 minutes” away from death. DKA happens when a diabetic (usually a T1D like me) has too much blood sugar in their body due to them lacking the insulin necessary to break the sugar down, so their body breaks down their fat reserves and muscle to get the energy it needs. This is why I lost around 50 pounds over the course of a few months (I was 118 lbs. when I entered the hospital, the lowest I’ve been since grade school). I was officially diagnosed with T1D on November 30th, just ten days after my 19th birthday, which is a little older than normal I believe. It’s...well, it’s not fun, but I feel very grateful for my large support system, and tomorrow I’m trying out a CGM for the first time and applying for both it and a pump, so things are really looking up 

[alexiela73]

Hihi i dont know if ur requests are open or not but if they aren't you could just ignore this. Buuuutt could u write some comfy cuddle time with reaper and mccree cuz Ive just had a terrible one sided fight with my dad (him basically screaming at me and hes probably kicking me out lol) and i need fluff

I’m sorry, sweetheart, and I’m also sorry it had to take a few days. I still hope this makes you feel a bit better.

Reaper:

Sitting in his office, Reaper hadn’t noticed how late it was getting till a wave of exhaustion hit him, and a wave forced itself from between his lips. Glancing at the clock, he was surprised to find it was almost midnight, and that he had been there most of the day.

Time had gone by quickly, he mused, having dealt with much paperwork and having to go and help out in the hangar today. It had been training lessons and some interesting ones at that. Half of his trainees were in the medical bay getting patched up by their strange doctor, Moira. Although he rather hated her, Moira was always happy when bullet victims ended up on her table.

With a sigh, Reaper got up and readied to go home. Today had been your day to yourself, not having been feeling all that good this morning. Although no one would think it, Reaper usually preferred to stay home and discretely take care of you. Usually he pretended it was for his own gain, but he’d make you food and make sure you took your medicine on time.

So honestly, it surprised him more that he hadn’t kept track of the time. A pang filled his chest as he realized he was still worried about how you were doing, and thought about calling.

But it would take 10 minutes. So he didn’t call, just heading home in a hurry, wanting to see you.

When he arrived, only the living room was on and you were watching Beauty and the Omnic on TV. Wrapped in blankets, you were staring intently at the screen, a tissue box tucked between you and the cushions

Reaper rolled his eyes but turned on the hallway light, surprising you as he took off his boots. “Gabe!” you gasped happily from the living room. “I was wondering when you’d come home. I missed you,” you said with a pout. 

Only grunting in response, Reaper walked over and paused, before pressing a claw against your forehead. Christ, but you were so warm. And yet he could see the barest shiver in you when the blanket fell from your shoulders.

“Did you take your medicine today?” Reaper asked instead, brushing the hair from your face briefly before going into the kitchen

Immediately he started to rustle up a sandwich, some water and bottle of Vix and cough syrup. It was habit by now for him to try to take care of you, even though he tried to pretend to be tough and uncaring. In the end, hearing you say ‘I love you’ made him really happy.

Wincing, you pulled the blanket up to your nose a bit shyly, your head a feeling a bit heavy. “Um…well…I mean, I did this morning…before you left…” you said shyly, and both of you know how you hate cough syrup.

With a sigh, Reaper walked back into the living room with his load and stopped beside you at the couch. “I doubt you ate a decent dinner either,” he growled, confirmed by you avoiding eye contact. “Take your medicine and then eat.”

With a pout, you put the food and drink beside you, turning your head away. “Gabe-” you started to say, but he was already pouring liquid into a little spoon.

“Open,” he commanded, and with a grimace you gingerly swallowed the medicine, making a face at its mixed, lingering taste of sour and bitter. It felt weird on your through always and you always had the need to spit into the sink after, but you just chugged a mouthful of water.

Once satisfied that you were medicated, he crouched and rubbed the soothing cream on your throat, meant to seep into your skin and help sooth the muscles and possibly open your nasal passages. 

“You take such good care of me,” you said with an impish smile, liking the cold of the cream being slathered on your skin. “What would I do without you?”

A smile touched his lips, and once finished he put his mask on a table. “Probably die,” he grunted, before taking a seat beside you on the couch.

Hesitating, you instantly wanted to be on him. “…Is it okay if we cuddle?” you asked shyly, not wanting to crowd him. It was best to ask him, because some days Reaper felt so haunted that he couldn’t handle touch.

Waiting a moment, Reaper nodded and opened his arm. Snuggled in your blanket, you inched over and pressed to his side, letting out a sigh as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

“I love you, you know,” you said again, smiling up at him adorably.

Refusing to look at you, Reaper silently pet your hair for a moment or two, before letting out a long, exaggerated sigh. 

“I love you too.”

McCree:

After a bit of a wild morning, Jesse was looking for some down time back in the apartment the two of you shared. It was cozy, rather simple looking, and all he wanted to do was nap.

Except, today you were home, and Jesse couldn’t fall asleep as you walked in and out of the room. You weren’t purposely trying to wake him: this was your only day to get chores done, and so many things needed to get finished. The laundry, the dishes, the plants needed watering, the rugs needed a vacuum…

Usually Jesse would help you with these things, but you had taken one look at him when he’d come home after a short mission and told him to go to bed. Without a second thought, Jesse had followed your orders and stripped down to his breeches and a t-shirt before climbing into bed.

But he was too aware of you moving in the house to sleep. Well, that and he really needed some cuddling.

The question was how to make you stop working and instead get into bed with him for a early afternoon nap…

“Y/n,” Jesse called, voice sounding exhausted. Rolling over so he faced the door, he leaned on his elbow so that he could take a better look. The room already looked cleaner, the laundry in the dryer now and the bedroom already having been vacuumed. You worked so hard on your days off…

Stepping in, you paused with a pile of books on your hip. “Yes?” you asked with an amused smile. You liked how his mop of brown hair was always disheveled once he was in bed, whether it was from sleeping or sex or just putting his head for a second. It was always rather cute.

Jesse let out a pout. “Take a nap with me?” he asked hopefully.

“No, Jesse,” you laughed. “I have to get all of this done. Oh, I’m sorry I’m keeping you up, honey. Do you want me to close the door now?”

Jesse looked sulky. “No, I want you in my bed, darlin’. You’ve been up since this morning. Why not take a break? Cuddle with me?” he said, wanting to hold you in his arms. It was the easiest way for him to drift off, holding you always giving him a relaxing feeling. 

“Jesse, I really…” you started, but your cowboy looked so tired and hopeful, and honestly you were rather sleepy too after such an unnecessary early start. It would feel so nice to be wrapped in his arms under the sheets…

After a moment, you sighed in defeat and Jesse’s eyes lit up.

“Okay, but only for a hour or two, alright?” you said gently, and put on an alarm on your phone. “I still have a lot of cleaning to do and dinner to make-” you said as you headed over, but his hand catching your wrist shut you up.

Pulling you gently into bed, Jesse wrapped the comforter around you before pressing to your back. You loved it when he spooned you, loved how his arms cradled you close and his face pressed into your hair.

“Just relax, okay darlin’? When you relax, I relax,” Jesse said softly, holding you and his eyes closed. Already just feeling you there was soothing him.

Eyes softening, you sighed and let your muscles go loose and already your body felt tranquil. “Okay, cowboy. I love you, silly man,” you said softly, turning to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“I…” he mumbled, his lips barely moving. He was always able to fall so quickly asleep when the circumstances were right. “lo……y……”

The soft mumble made you smile, and resting your head on his arm, you closed your eyes and found yourself drifting off as easily as him. The two of you lay cuddled together for the afternoon nap, snuggly and happy and content.

[caracalia]

ahhhhhh. woe is me..... my cats wont cuddle...